Logan's Big Adventure
by Commander Salamander
Summary: Logan takes a trip to Fairy Land with his new best buddies, St John, Snowy the Tree Kangaroo and The Mighty Rabbit! (that's Bunny to those who know her!) What dangers will our Heroes face in the lastest installment! Read and Review to find out!
1. The Beginning

This morning was so, utterly and completely unremarkable, that it wasn't funny. At least he was laughing anyway, so dull in fact, that Logan was about half a cup of coffee from leaping out of the kitchen window and making a run for it. Somewhere far, far away, where he could blow stuff up, have a really big drink, punch somebody in the face, then find a cheap room in a crappy hotel and cry himself to sleep.

*crash!*

"Like, KRRIIIIT!" screeched Kitty 

Logan looked up above him, and something landed with a thump outside the kitchen window. It scuttled off.

The scuttling was closely followed by an enraged roar…

"KRRRRIIIIT! wen ah git ma hans oan yew!"

No, thought Logan, its time to go now. 

So he abandoned his coffee, and newspaper, except the funnies of course, that Hobbies really cracked him up. Leapt out the window and then onto his bike, put on his shades, to ward off damaging UV rays, pulled a wheelie, and disappeared out the gate and around the corner.

"Whare's 'e goin' ina hurey?" Rouge looked at Kitty

She shrugged, "I, like, don't know".

*BAMF* 

"Oahw, 'e took de vunny paeges!"

Now that he was on the road, Logan definitely felt better there was nothing like riding a rumbling beast, and having nothing but an open road and the chance of running into something to destroy ahead of you. Nope, nothing made him feel more alive, except folk dancing but that was a whole other story.

So he rode and he rode and he rode, and he rode and he rode and he rode. And then he rode some more, with not a care in the world. 

That was, until, he ran out of gas.

And, as it always happens, in the middle of nowhere. Luckily he knew where a gas station was, it was about 10 miles back down the road. 

 It was getting dark.

Kinda quickly too, and as deserted logging roads do when it gets dark, the trees shuffled in a little closer, and gave Logan the evil eye that trees do when somebody crashes one of their parties. And the bushes crouched ready to spring at the slightest sign of weakness. 

And what did Logan do? Why he unsheathed his claws, grinned slyly, growled under his breath and looked them dead square in the eye.

The trees and shrubs and stuff all looked at each other, and backed off. But just a little, not much more of an inch really, but still a little they knew a professional tree killer when they saw one.

Logan waved his claws about in the universal gesture that said "bring it on"

The forest narrowed its eyes, but stood its ground.

"Tha's  rite, bubs, we don' want truble do we" he smirked 

Yes Logan was pretty full of himself now that he had managed to threaten foliage into submission, now for his emergency "when I run out of gas in the middle of nowhere" stash he kept right under the…

…a note fell to the ground. In very familiar hand writing the note outlined how somebody needed cash in a hurry, for a present to be exact, for someone, and that that somebody owed him $89.93. It was signed lovingly and had a postscript. Another present had been bought and now he was owed another $78.34. Under that, another individual noted that they had borrowed 30 bucks, thanks a lot.

Logan's hand shot under the seat and pulled out… a buck. 

A muscle in this face twitched, oh yes when he gets home, both Scott and Kurt were going to pay. With interest! 


	2. When Shrubbery Attacks

disclaimer: I do not own anything on this page except the stuff about killer trees and the gas station attendant thing. so there I can make stuff up! yay! and yay! again

And so the forest, sensing a lapse in attention, whirled into action. A wall of angry shrubbery hung over our hero, howling.

Logan whipped around with a roar of his own, the flashing blades on one hand carving through the air, the other balled tightly around his only dollar. Logan was now most definitely pissed.

The screaming mass halted, their eyes widened in fear and then ran for the hills. Yelping.

The trees took note of the current situation, and watched Logan carefully out of the corner of their eyes. Logan had all daggers drawn, his eyes narrowed into slits. The youngest and least experienced tree pointed out how Logan sent out sparks as he ground his teeth together.

Then they all turned their backs and began to whistle. Swaying gently back and forth.

And yes I know it sound bizarre, but it did happen, just like that.

Logan still breathing heavily glared about him, the few trees that were looking over their shoulders at him quickly resumed, not looking at him. 

So with a snort Logan spun on a heel and stormed back down the road toward the gas station, with a thundercloud above his head that would have made Ororo envious.

There was a small thunder crack, and it began to rain.

Logan nodded to himself, yeah he was going to get a full tank of gas and he was only going to pay a dollar. Yes a dollar and it had better be a full gas can. Full up to the top. Exactly level with the top, and he was not going to give them a bond, that's right NO BOND! 

He began to chuckle, and rub his hands together in a kind of maddened glee…

"Millennium Hand and Shrimp! I tol' 'em, I TOL' 'em!" he chuckled again.

Logan cocked his head, he swore (and he did, a long list of very bad words, I tell you they were something, I even learnt a few more I can tell you that, and I should know I once read a dictionary! Any enough about me…) he swore that he could hear the soothing sounds of the Beach Boys, "Help Me Rhonda" to be exact, so with a shrug he gave into the madness and sang along. 

The trees looked at him, and a few bushes and shrubs and stuff peeped out from around their trunks and nodded to each other, the Beach Boys CD that they were playing was working, there would be no Logan related plant deaths in this forest tonight, and yes, he wasn't too bad a singer either.

When Logan finally arrived at his destination, skipping merrily, soaking wet, humming "Surfin' Safari", a great grin on his face, clutching a very sad and pathetic dollar bill and a maddened glint in his eyes, the gas station attendant did what any gas station attendant does (I should know I once was one)…

Without taking his feet off the counter, glanced over the top of the newspaper he was reading, gave Logan a dangerous look and said, "We're Closed."

Logan slammed the dollar onto the counter.

"Gimme Gas. In Can. Righ' to top", the cheek muscle twitched again.

The Gas Station Attendant didn't move an inch, stared Logan square in the eyes.

There was a small peal of thunder above Logan's head.

Silence dragged. 

The Gas Station Attendant shifted the cigarette to the other side of his mouth so that Logan could hear him clearly, and uttered those words of power… "You will have to put that out, sir." And continuing on to make a point, "We are sitting on thousands of gallons of highly explosive gasoline, and I don't know about you. Sir. But I don't want to appear on tomorrow's newspaper, with "GAS STATION ATTENDANT WARNED OF DANGER BEFORE MASSIVE EXPLOSION, ONE DEAD"." 

It was a stalemate, you see gas station attendants are nuts too, depending on where the station is, the more isolated, the crazier and less intimidated they are. Having little or no human contact does that to people. The ones that work at full service stations are even worse, and more unpredictable. A million conversations about the weather tends to do that to people.

So Logan once again unsheathed his claws and tapped them against the countertop.

The Gas Station Attendant glanced down at Logan's amazing appendages, then looked into Logan's smiling face. "Just… One… Spark… Buster…"

Logan continued tapping.

At this point Logan had crossed the line, The Gas Station Attendant folded up his newspaper, took his feet off the counter, swung his chair around and stood up. The two warriors scarred from many battles stood about even, their eyes locked.

"We…are…closed." The Gas Station Attendant breathed.

A small part of Logan's brain looked at the picture in front of it, sent a message to the part of Logan's brain which controlled the movement of his voluntary muscle system, who then set about to their task quickly.

Logan spun around on one heel, as before, did an about turn and strode right back out the door. Logan decided that he would rather sing more Beach Boys in the homicidal forest.

But what about his dollar?!?

"Yeah, wat abou' mah dolla' !!" cried Logan

"Forget abou' yah f@*ken dolla', yah crazy bastard!" said the small part of Logan's brain, that wanted desperately to stay alive, hell it was a crazy bastard too, who had always cried "wheeeee!" when ever some thing so f@*ken crazy happened. It had a death wish, but not a wish for a death as violent as that.

"ok" said Logan in a quiet voice, cowed by the horrible images that the small part of his brain was showing him, no it was right an ass kicking by am insane gas station attendant would not be fun, and he wanted to be around when his buddy Captain America was thawed out.

So with a sigh, he began walking back to his bike, mourning the lost of both his dollar and his beloved friend. 

"Sigh…"

Suddenly there was a shout behind him!

Logan whipped around and running to ward him was, dum dum de dummmm! The Gas Station Attendant, he was shouting and waving blunt objects?

"Gasp!" gasped Logan who was about to run when another very small part of Logan's brain even less well used as the "want to stay alive" part cried out "STOP!" 

So since Logan was listening to parts of his brain, he decided to go along with that part too. Boy was he on a roll today!

The Gas Station Attendant slowed now that he saw Logan waiting for him and said "Hey buddy, since I haven't had a good challenge for a while, and I am feeling generous tonight, I brought a gas can, full to the top with gas and your dollar with me. Here!" 

And with that he trust the gas can at Logan and smiled. Yay isn't that real nice!

Logan looked at his gift and then smiled back "thanks" he said and then held out his hand.

"What." said The Gas Station Attendant looking at Logan's outstretched hand.

Logan still smiling opened and closed it a few times.

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"My dollar" said Logan.

The Gas Station Attendant looked at him and said in a series of nice, calm and polite words…" That no, my dear fellow, I believe that my generous gift of a full gas can, is worth much more than this single monetary unit, and so will keep this in exchange, my fine pleasant friend." 

Logan nodded thoughtfully; yes he supposed it was fair.

And at that the two parted their ways, one muttering under his breath about getting a new job perhaps somewhere less stressful like the LAPD, the other shooting worried glances over his shoulder, humming disjointedly to himself.

The trip back to the abandoned motorbike was very uneventful, the forest had even more respect now that Logan had ten gallons of gasoline in this arms.

That was until a small, crazy, fire-loving, freak of an Australian with a mostly depleted lighter came roaring down the road in a clapped out, bomb of a jeep. Laughing all the way, Ha Ha Ha.   


	3. Run Johnny Run

disclaimer: as I have before I own nothing here, except the stuff about fairies. and yes Aussies (Australians) sound just like what I have typed

So our buddy St John, pulls a handbrake, and skidded to a halt just in front of Logan. He sprang out of the vehicle before it had even stopped moving, and stood before Logan rubbing his hands together, with a hungry gleam in his eye.

Logan growled and clutched the gas can closer to his chest, he had hang glided over the jaws of hell to get this gas and no-one but the devils own gas station attendant would get it off him. 

Ever!

Well unfortunately for Logan, St John threw open his arms and cried "Hay! Mate, 'ow ar' ya, neow wot 'ave yew got dere? That woodn't be a prezent four yore mate, Pyro? Eats jus' whot 'e neads, me lite'as runin' lowe and me favrit' shelia's runin' outa gas. Owe bye da waye EYE am da devuil's Owefishal Gas Staysun Aetendant" St John proudly crossed 'is, I mean his arms and nodded "Yip mate, gotta bahge an' ever'fing."

Logan's brows darkened even more, he squeezed the can tighter.

"What badge"

"Whot doe ya meen 'whot bahge'! Lok mate ef eye 'ave tou geit owt me bahge, eye 'an't gonna be aye 'appey buggar!" St John glared at Logan, but changed tack quickly as he tends to do. "Cum on mate, jus' meesin' wit ya." he waved a hand, "Nah ef yew doan't geve eat tou ya mate Pyro tha's ok. Eye'll jus' 'ave tou burn ya up tha's awl." he studied the ground at his feet, and scuffed his boots. It gave him a little while for the words to sink in. Then he looked up into Logan's eyes and burst into maniacal laughter.

"BWWAAAHH HAA HA HA!"

And with that St John raised his prized lighter up to the heavens and sent great tongues of flames up into the air!

Which turned into giant serpents! Yes giant King Brown Snakes, which every true Blue Aussie knows are one of the most dangerous, aggressive and venomous snake in the world, and they were made of fire! Oh yes it was truly wonderful and it brought a tear to St John's eye, his kingdom for a beautiful and majestic King Brown, he missed them so. But what better way to honour such a fine creature than to burn somebody who won't give you your due. 

Oh God what did we do wrong thought the trees, this just isn't our day! 

So with a happy cry and an insane cackle, he made his pets lunge toward…Logan…who wasn't there anymore. 

No Logan had 

"Bloodey leigged eat mate!" said St John sadly

Yes…he did and I was going to say that, I mean who the hell is da narrator here is it me or you, ya thick arse convict!

"Ya jus' jellus ya stenkin' sheep luvin' poesar, tha' ya not en a cartoon, lik' mee!"

What eva ya moron, we play better rugby and kicked ya cork-wearing bums in netball, why would I want to be in a cartoon with a girl's blouse like yaself. Oh by the way Fosters is piss!

"Owe, yew cuht me deep tha' tieme, eye doan't knowe wot tou saye."  

Sorry mate, I didn't mean some of that stuff, the bits about the rugby and stuff, well its true but you Aussies are nearly as good, and ya did beat us a few times I guess. But I mean what I said about the Fosters mate. I mean its Speight's all the way, either that or Export Gold. Well anyway, sorry mate… Do you still want to be in me story? 

"Weall eye guese, mayebe thar sheep luvin' theng was aye bet march…"

We good mate?

"Yeah were rite mate."

That's good because, well the story would be kinda dumb without ya.

Anyway we should really get back to the story.

"Sowe wot am eye doin' agaein?"

Well since Logan's taken off and legged it, and he has a gas can full to the brim with highly explosive petrol, and we all know how much you like explosions and fire and stuff. I think it would be appropriate that you chase after him and try to get it.

"Owe tha's rite, now eye get et."

So my mate Johnny ran after Logan, into the forest, and he had to run really fast to try and catch up because we all know that Logan can be quite quick when he wants to be, and he is really fit. Where as Johnny has that whole I'm not very fast but can't I make really cool stuff out of fire, mate, thing going on.

"An' (pant, pant) whot (pant) doe ya (pant,grunt) meam bye tha't!"

Nothing Johnny mate it's just that you are not the most toned of fellows, so I would say that Logan has an advantage, don't worry you are a Little Aussie Battler, you'll catch up with him.

And he did, his desire for the gas and with my words of encouragement, St John managed to gain on Logan enough so that he could use his powers.

So Johnny turned pyromaniac and created a wall of fire in front of Logan, and Logan never being one to back down on a fight (well maybe not with gas station attendants) and the gas can being of a strong and sturdy construction. He charged toward St John and smacked upside the head with it. 

Needless to say, but I am going to say it anyway, knocked him straight over and onto his back some distance away.

And Logan never one to not finish a job properly went in to deliver the coupe de grace.

Seeing a very angry Logan in mid spring claws at the ready to destroy him St John thought very quickly (and this was difficult for Johnny, and it hurt his head…"Hay, mate, eye thort we had dun wit tha ensults!"…What! Look I never said we loved you for your brains, St John, just your cute little…urummh the story, alright, the story. And you stop looking at me like that!)

Anyway Johnny thought quickly and it hurt but he did manage to deflect Logan's lethal blow with one of his gas tanks which had come off when he landed.

Johnny was lucky in that the claws on one of Logan's hands got caught in a tree root and that he had to pull it out before he could kill St John properly.

Logan tugged, and St John laughed at him as he groped for his lighter. And he was just about to return Logan's favour when he noticed something; Logan had a very careful look on his face and had sensed struggling to get free. He looked up at St John, who relised that they would soon have enemies worse than each other.

They were standing in the middle of a Fairy Ring!!

And hey I have seen Fairy Rings; they are great big clear circles in the middle of a field or a forest or something with mushrooms around the outside. And yes they are very creepy and a gates to the Fairy World. You could say kinda like a sort of mythical, fantastic version of a Black Hole, that lead you to another dimension that overlaps our own. 

Yes I know all this because I have talked to the Fairies. They are really shifty little buggers too. Both Logan and St John have everything to fear, I mean that they build little castles out all those kids' teeth!

So Logan and St John find themselves in a Fairy Ring and the rules go that if stand in the middle of on of these Rings on a full moon, at midnight, dig up the earth in the very center, and say "fairies" five times, if you believe in them enough, the door to the Fairy World might open, or you might see one, if you are very lucky. And our two heroes are just such lucky guys

"Sthueth! Mate, not f@*ken Fairies!"

"That's right bub, Fairies."

"Owe eye hate Fairies, mates."

"Will ya shutdup abou' the Fairies, an help me out!"

St John started laughing, "HA HA HA Mate, nowe waye am eye doin' tha', nah eyem gonna leeve yew tou tha bloodey Fairies!"

"Willya stop sayin' Fairies, ya dumbass!"

"Whot? Afraid of Fairies ar yew, yew grate Fairy yew?"

Logan gave St John a disturbed look.

Two little figures watched them from the trees. One of them said… "I think they have said "fairies" enough now, don't you?"    

"Well, I think they said enough when the small one said "f@*ken Fairies"" replied the other dryly.

"Ok, that was uncalled for but there are rules you know." 

"Ha! Yeah rules, well they've said "fairies" eight times now, and the small one seems to have found as many derogatory ways of staying it as possible."

The first figure looked at our heroes, and then looked back at his friend. Then frowned in thought, yes it hurt him that much… "You're right; I don't think the larger one would not be able to pull off pastels at all!"

The other figure gave him a look out of the corner of his eye, and slowly shook his head. "Right well lets send them to heck!"  


	4. Can Openers

Chapter 4 Can Openers

Like a pair of gnats out of hell, two streaks of pastel zipped into the center of the Fairy Ring. There was a "bing!" sound and a few sparklies fell to the ground. Both Logan and St John looked, well, startled and struggled to escape as the two Fairies bore down on them. Oh yes they were an intimidating sight, all six inches of them. The one named George buzzed up and tapped Johnny between the eyes "What were you saying about F@*ken Fairies?!"

"George stop being an ass." said Cindy (that's the other fairy) giving him a black look.

"What? I thought…"

"Oh gods you've been thinking again." said Cindy "You're giving me a RSI from rolling my eyes. Don't push me George, I want you to ignore them, they are uncouth barbarians." 

She floated up him and stuck her wand in his face; George put his hands up in an apologetic gesture. 

"Hay, doen't let tha' Tinkaslut push yew aroun' mate!"

She frowned and then spun around to face the mutants. 

"I must say, that particular comment did arouse my interest." Cindy glanced at the two, then smiled reptilian "You two do realise where you are don't you?

"Near Buffalo?" asked St John

"NO!" bellowed Cindy as she lashed at him with her wand.

St John sprang into Logan's arms for safety. The end of her wand looked like it had been made out of shards of glass.

"THAT'S RIGHT COWER IN FEAR! YOU TWO ARE…"

"Gonna kick you ass, sister."

"Nowe wurries, mate."

Cindy the Fairy turned toward the voices… "What the f@*k?" 

And there before them, side by side, with their chests trust forward, arms folded in that universal heroic pose, lit by the glow of the dying fires, eyes narrowed into slits stood…

A rabbit and a really ugly squirrel.

"Whot deed yew saye?!!"

Oh sorry, mate! I mean a tree kangaroo. But they do look like a really ugly squirrel, ok not ugly but a bit weird anyway.

So continuing on with the story...

Cindy blinked and gave the two creatures a brittle smile "What pray tell, do you petting zoo rejects mean by that?"

"Eye am noe peittin zoo reject, mate! Eye am aye tru bluwe…"

"… We're Animal Sprit Guides, bub." 

Both the rabbit and the tree roo exchanged looks, while the two Fairies basically laughed their heads off. It went on for a while.

Finally it bubbled down to a trickle. 

"Are you done yet" said the rabbit

"I think so" said Cindy "except for one thing what are you…things… going to do? Give your "tourists" an encouraging, moral building pep talk and a pat on the back?"

"No." said the rabbit cool and calm like

"Well what then?" giggled Cindy

The rabbit proceeded to take from behind its back a very large can and a can opener. 

"Hay mate, whots thes?" said the roo, motioning to the can opener. 

"I was going to use it to open the can." 

"Nah, doen't use that mate, use thes." and he produced a machete.

"Why thank you." said the rabbit

"Noe wurries, mate."

George buzzed close to the two animals "what is that?" he asked.

 "This is authentic, homemade wup-ass."

"In a can?"

"Yeap, inna can, and its allll for you and Rainbimbo up there." said the rabbit jerking his head at Cindy.

"So you are opening a great big…" Cindy murmured

"Yeap, opening a great big can of wup-ass on…" replied the rabbit taking aim.

"…Yew tou." said the roo with a sly smile.

Silence hung in the air.

And both Logan and St John thought that what was going on in front of them was the weirdest crap that they had ever seen in their entire lives, and they hoped to hell that things were not going to get any weirder. They looked deep into each others eyes; Logan drew in his breath and then dumped Johnny on the ground, put his fingers to his temple and shook his head. He was going to take action. Weird crap happening around him was one thing; f@*ken weird stuff happening to him was another. Logan got ready and met eyes with the rabbit of all things. It winked and did what it had promised. The can opened.

And boy it was an ass wupping I tell you that, but the Fairies sensing defeat opened up the gates to Fairy World which sucked both our heroes and their fuzzy little animal buddies in like a black hole tastefully decorated with pastels and dumped them on a big flat plain. 

Luckily St John knew exactly where they were. 

"How th' hell do you know w'ere we are?" grunted Logan rubbing his head, where St John had landed on it.

"Jus' becurse eye am crayze, dusen't mean eye kan't reud, mate." He gave Logan a sulky look. 

A few feet away stood a large sign, it read "Itdoesn'tmatteryouarescrewedanyway" below it was a smaller sign it said "You are here" and had a large arrow pointing to the ground.

Logan got to his feet, and trod on the rabbit.

The tree kangaroo let out a long whistle.

Everyone stared at it.

"Yew are wun lucky bloke, mate." It gazed up at Logan with awe on its face.

Logan frowned, he almost felt like treading on it too. In fact he would probably feel better if he stood on everyone there twice, but the thread of the sentence had been left hanging and against his better judgment he said "What?"

"Weell the last bloke whowe stood on Bunnie got hes leg taken cleen off."

Logan looked down on the rabbit; it was grooming itself and frowning at him at the same time. Bunny growled.

"Mined yew Bunnie es yore Anemal Spuret Guyed mate."  The tree roo went on.

Logan clapped a hand to his forehead and wheeled away from them, oh god why him and why didn't he take the Professor's advice and get therapy, it would do him good to have a cry.

"Sowe," said St John "ef the rabbet…"

"That's Bunny." growled Bunny

"…ef  Bunnie is Meserey Guts' Anemal Spuret Guyed, then yore me fuzzey lettal mate, mate"

"Fair Dinkum, mate. The nayme's Snowee cobbar!" Snowy extended a paw. 

"Sthruthe mate, eye used tou bee called that en skcool." St John gave it a shake. It was obvious that the two were going to become good mates. Johnny hadn't felt this good since he last used napalm.

So they began to reminisce of the Great Land Down Under, its wide, red and desolate deserts, filled with snakes. Spiders, scorpions and crocodiles. Sigh. Crack me open another Fosters mate.

Logan stole a peek over his shoulder at the rabbit. It was sitting, watching him through narrowed eyes. Another very un-rabbit growl rose up from inside of it. Logan looked away; this was more insane than The Gas Station Attendant.  

The muscle in his cheek started to twitch again. Boy he could really use a big drink right now.  

Another disclaimer: I own nothing except Cindy, George, Bunny and Snowy oh and Fairy world too. 


	5. The Book!

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Oh yes it was a right good talking to, like none you have ever seen.  
  
And once that was over and St John was reminded once again and this was his final warning, don't f@*k around with fluffy white bunny rabbits, especially ones with the name Bunny. Everybody looked at the book. Again.  
  
Logan became impatient. He was sick of looking at the cover of the stupid damn book and wanted the rabbit to either open the damn book or throw it away. That muscle in his cheek twitched again.  
  
"Soe," said St John "wot is it about?"  
  
Bunny gave him a hard look.  
  
"No, no mate I mean wot does it look like inside or sumthing?"  
  
There was a pause for dramatic effect.   
  
"It's a pop-up book," said Bunny grimly.  
  
"Well wot is so bad about a pop-up book mate"  
  
Bunny looked up from the brightly coloured and well illustrated volume at the mutants and her Sprit Guide Companion "This book is about what is going to happen, and because of it I now know where we are…"  
  
There was another pause for effect which was made even more dramatic by the dramatic music that was now drifting through the air…  
  
"The most abhorrent creation the bloody Fairies have made to date. Bedtime Story Land!"  
  
DA DA DUMMMM!!!  
  
This was not good, now there was going to be more crazy weird stuff and Logan was not looking forward to it. Maybe if he pinched himself he would wake up and this dream would all go away, yes that's right it's all a dream.   
  
Johnny lent over and pinched him.  
  
After the fighting had died down and everybody's wounds were patched up, Johnny explained that Logan was asking for it by thinking out loud, he had practically begged for it. Bunny solved the whole argument and slapped both of them.  
  
Fortunately for them Bunny had a chance to think things through and despite the fact opening the book was probably the craziest thing to do, everybody there was nuts and in a place that makes no sense it is best at times just to give up and go along with it. Well it makes for a better story anyway.  
  
So our intrepid heroes all sat down in a circle under the signpost and Bunny opened the book.  
  
It was you could say your normal and quite ordinary pop-up book, the sort where you pull little tabs and stuff moves. Only it was about what Logan had gone through during the last few hours. Which was all very fine and well, except Johnny found some of the things that happened highly amusing, and his hysterical laughter was starting to hurt Logan's ears. That was until page 19, which just showed all of them sitting around under the sign which clearly showed that they were in Itdoesn'tmatteryourscrewedanyway.  
  
They sat in silence; unlike on the other pages where the text was clear and even rhymed, the words were indistinct. It seemed that the story all pivoted on what they did next…  
  
And so because Johnny was a messed up little freak, he pulled the little tab that nobody else had noticed (or if they had weren't in a million years going to admit it or even touch)…  
  
On the horizontality of the book, two giant highlands rose up over the tiny cardboard characters below. One made of shards of twisted rock and ice that seemed to clutch storm clouds in its sky scraping claws. The other was a set of gentle giants, lightly wooded with acres blanketed by brilliant wildflowers and soft sunshine. Awww, it was so pretty that little Johnny looked about him but alas he couldn't see a thing, just a big empty plain that seemed to go on forever…  
  
That was until the giant mountain ranges made of tortured rock and ice leapt up with a scream from the earth to the west of them, which shocked and angered the clear blue sky who sent down tornadoes, thunderstorms and great winds to help it up. The ground beneath them shook and rolled and as the dread steeps loomed over them, Bunny sat tapping her claws against the book in her lap, her head resting on one paw and a dark glint in her eyes.   
  
"Settle down" she barked.  
  
And sure enough the ground stopped what it was doing and shuffled back a little, Logan had his way with trees and shrubs, Bunny ruled… well Bunny just ruled, especially when she was cross I tell you that, nope you don't want to get on the wrong end of a bar fight with that fluffy rabbit.  
  
The fellowship all stared as the lovely hills, you know the nice ones with the flowers and trees and stuff, blossomed to the east. You could hear the angel's chorus singing so sweetl….  
  
"Shutup!" roared Bunny, and when a rabbit roars you listen.  
  
The angels hurriedly packed up and left they too knew not to f@*k around with fluffy white rabbits.  
  
Once everything had calmed down Bunny placed the book carefully on the ground, stood up on her hind legs and gave Johnny the finger. And no you meanies out there not The Finger as in 'flipping the bird', I mean the finger as in you make curling motions with your index finger when you want somebody to come, and yes I don't know what you call it or even if it has a name, but anyway I have explained it so you should get it now, if you don't well then you…well that isn't my problem.  
  
And so Johnny came like the good boy he is, so curious and trusting. Johnny bent down wondering why the funny rabbit was going to share a secret with him.   
  
Then Bunny grabbed him roughly by the ears and yelled in them.   
  
After the yelling had stopped Johnny decided that it would be best if he didn't touch the book again. At least not when the rabbit was looking anyway… 


	6. Page 20

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
"Right," said Bunny "now, on we go."   
  
The rabbit tucked the book away behind herself and then proceeded in a westerly, yes that is right west. See it is in bold and even underlined just to make a point. And as we all know WEST is the direction where those big scary mountain thingies are etc.   
  
So I guess we can all understand Johnny's consternation when he discovered that they where headed in that direction, you know all the ice, howling winds, rock and stuff being so, well bad for small Zippo lighters and if Johnny was going to go somewhere where he couldn't get a comfortable fire going, he was only going to go there if his mum said he had to, and she wasn't here. So there!  
  
"Look mate," said Snowy carefully " if you don't get a move on, Bunny is gonna get mad, now we all know what happens when Bunny gets mad don't we?"  
  
Well it was then that many things happened at once; at first dear little Johnny uttered something like, well it sounded like it to me… I'm not sure exactly kinda like F@*k Bunny and the f@*ken dirty great sodding mountains!  
  
And because of that comment various, painful things happened to poor Johnny, which subsequently ended up with him on the ground. With Everybody Else sitting on him.  
  
Unfortunately for Everybody Else, Bunny had dropped the book and it was now lying in the grass unnoticed, open to the page 20. He was just reaching for the book when Logan using a rope that Snowy had just produced from his belt bag (NO! Tree Kangaroos Do Not Have Pockets, at least male ones don't) went about tying St John up. Damn it looked like he wasn't going to get the book, and that page looked so interesting, he could see the little wheel in one corner shinning in the sunlight, it seemed it was almost smiling at him, his hopes at spinning that wheel were fading fast. It just wasn't fair! That was until he remembered a trick that Remy had taught him. Sure a book was bigger than a lighter, but Logan and that bloody Bunny mightn't be as observant as the Cajun was …  
  
"Oh for Pete's f@*ken sake, untie the little bastard and get him to help find the bloody book" Growled a very hot cross bunny (get it he he!…oh never mind.) fifteen minutes later.   
  
St John stopped singing and gave the rabbit a nasty grin.   
  
Bunny eyed him and rumbled…  
  
"Yeah well, I hope you use the same amount of energy singing as finding that bloody book, or you will have the lyrics to Waltzing Matilda carved into your sorry hide!"  
  
She winked at Logan " You do the honours" she said  
  
With that bit of encouragement Logan advanced, cracking his knuckles, if he never heard that song again it would be too soon. The Aussie s#%t was going to feel the same way very, very soon.  
  
When the noise died down and Everyone Else was occupied, with their backs turned of course, Johnny… dear, dear Johnny pulled the book out from under his shirt…   
  
So sorry, caught a glimpse of a ab here *cough*  
  
…Under his shirt (Hey you! Stop drooling in the back!) From under his shirt, swiftly and silently opened that book up, and moved to claim his prize!  
  
But little rabbits with their long ears can hear very well, so can short and very hairy men, (as for Snowy, well he's a qute little fellow and don't really expect him to do much except be Johnny's mascot really…) with sharp sharp adamantium claws. They both whipped round saw Johnny's finger sailing down in an arc to ward the accursed wheel. They, as anyone has too even though they know it is already far too late, leaped forward and cried out "NOOOOOO!" as our pyromaniac buddy's index finger flew onto its task with a twitch! So they leaped, their body's moving like two barges through to air (this is all being done in slow motion, there are rules you know!)…  
  
The little wheel spun, the rabbit and the hairy man, were as I said before Too Late. All they could do was watch…  
  
A part of the mountain moved, and as it did so seemed to turn into a sort of flying beast, which streaked down onto their tiny little pop-up selves, to wreak the kind of death that only cardboard has nightmares about.  
  
Everyone Else and Johnny of course seeing the terrible fate befalling their paper representations, looked at each other and did only what they could do, swallowed.  
  
None dared to look at the mountain. That was until a terrible, terrible shriek rent the air. This shriek was the kind that was very high up and very far away. It was the kind that you didn't want to meet in a dark alleyway, the sort that ate puppy sandwiches and spread kittens on its toast. It was a very angry shriek, which had far too much scream in it.  
  
Yes siree, if that shriek did not make you look for its source, then you where probably already dead.   
  
Anyway they looked, and a part of one of the peaks moved. A very large piece. It began to unfold like a tulip, if tulips weighed 200 tons and were made of ice, stone and pure fury. It gripped what was left of the mountainside lifted its shard covered head and screamed like a glacier. Then it looked at them.  
  
Johnny commented on how he now needed a new pair of pants and Snowy murmured him too. Their eyes were stuck to it, Nobody could look away.  
  
Bunny leant forward and carefully removed the book from Johnny's hands and turned to page 21. She glanced down and read, lifting the appropriate flap. Then just as quietly closed the book, and put it away.  
  
Johnny clutched his lighter and to comfort himself, lit it. 


	7. Bloody Johnny and his Lighter!

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as poor, poor George it hasn't been his day. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Now to say that the Mountain Beast was insulted by this act of insubordination on Johnny's part was an understatement. Yes indeed, the strange creatures below it on the plain were small and insignificant. In fact they were so beneath it, that to even dain to spring down upon them would make them of some importance. Which they weren't!  
  
Even so, the facts remained. It was compelled by some strange force to do so, even though it didn't want to. But there was the interesting comment the little red one with the wet pants said. What was it now? "…f@*ken dirty great sodding mountains" and one could not forget the still lit and quivering flame either. No that was the final straw!  
  
"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccccchhhhhhhhhh!" it screeched.   
  
Enraged by both that maddening light and by the damn author of the story for delving into its head. It despised being a plot device!  
  
So that sort of flying beast, this time made of slabs of rock and shards of ice not mere card, streaked down toward them, to wreak the kind of death that only the child of a aggressive rockslide and a territorial glacier on Speed can wreak. And with it, seemingly caught on it's spiny back were those tornadoes, thunderclouds and other thingies.  
  
And what did our mighty heroes do? Why what any hero worth his or her salt would do. Run, run, run away and Live to see another day!  
  
As a hysterical block, Everyone sprinted away, the Beast chasing them across the plain like a dog does a postman wearing meat-flavoured undies. Time and time again it struck out at them with its sharply sharded jaws or its long talon like claws. Time and time again it conveniently missed them and each time it did our Heroes screamed like little girls, leapt six feet into the air and continued running.  
  
But all that screaming, leaping and running was taking its toll. Johnny was feeling The Urge.  
  
"I'm, *pant pant*… starting, *choke*… to get The Urge!" coughed Johnny.  
  
"What!" Choked Logan with a scowl.   
  
He was starting to think that St Johnny was a real f@*ked little freak now. That is even more so than he thought he was already. "Damn it bub! I know *heavy breath* fear, makes people wanna do…"   
  
"No! *hack hack*… not the Urge, *snort* The Urge!" replied Johnny quickly.  
  
It was obvious by Logan's look of total confusion and I know that you would probably like to have the Issue of The Urge cleared up. Well…  
  
"He means that he has The Urge to look behind him, which as we all know would mean that St John would die instantly." explained Bunny while bounding beside Logan.  
  
  
  
Hey I was going to say that! Damn rabbit I wanted to explain that! Grrrrr!  
  
"Oh right! Just like the Hero Always Gets The Girl and The Good Guys Always Win." Growled Logan sarcastically.  
  
"Heck yeah, look buddy this ain't the Real World we're in bloody Bedtime Story Land!" shouted Bunny in mid leap.  
  
Logan opened his mouth to say something but a tap on his shoulder stopped him. It was Snowy. "No mate, just listen." He said quietly with a small shake of his head.  
  
Logan turned to Bunny again.  
  
"What we have right now is called 'Can They Make It'. You see if we just keep running, like we are doing now, directly away from danger and/or assailants, for just long enough we may just make it. Since the… the thing that is chasing us has missed every single time it has tried to get us, it means that if we maintain our current speed and reach those hills ahead of us, we are guaranteed to survive." Bunny looked pointedly at Johnny. "So we keep running, and Don't Look Back!"   
  
"Owwwwmate! I was destracted by all that tecnecal stuff, *snort hack*… that I dedn't want to look behind me until now!" Johnny grunted.  
  
"Just keep moving mate, she'll be right!" Shouted Snowy encouragingly. "Check it out cobber, we're almost there mate!"  
  
The Mountain Beast screeched again. It was getting tired of its blows missing their mark and it was tired of being ignored too. It was infuriating. Once again it shrieked, only this time it had a plaintive note to it. The lovely flowered hills were just ahead, and it seemed that is only purpose was just to make them go toward them. And it had a very bad feeling about those hills. Its tornadoes died and the thunderclouds stopped being thundery and more scattered showers. It groaned and covered its eyes; this had not been a good day.  
  
First he ran over his polar bear, backing down the driveway. Then because that he was late for work and was fired. And when he got home he found his wife in bed with another beast… now this.  
  
The Beast had every right to be worried because our Heroes had taken Bunny's Advice and had reached the bottom of the first hill, they ran up it, the muscles in their legs straining, their breath catching in their throats and on the verge of collapse…  
  
"Stop!" cried out Bunny  
  
The Guys stopped just ahead of her and spun around to look at her in surprise. Right behind them!  
  
Oh Crap! Thought the Beast and it pulled up quickly, but alas it was too late. The scattered showers above it melted away and it was hit between the eyes by an incandescent beam of pure unadulterated sunshine. It clapped its hands over its eyes and howled, damn it's sinus headache! And with a yelp it turned tail and fled, to find a very dark pair of sunglasses and it's migraine medication.  
  
The Guys jaws dropped. They looked at the magnificent Bunny in astonishment. How did she know, they asked.  
  
"Read the next page. No big deal." She said with a shrug.  
  
And with that she began to hop up the rest of the hill.  
  
Note: No Mountain Beasts named George were hurt during the making of this fanfic. Well not very much. And yes George is fine; it's amazing what a big hug and a cup of hot cocoa can do for somebody. 


	8. Technical Difficulties

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!   
  
"Hey! Wait a minute, what do ya mean 'read the next page'!" roared Logan. "I thought that only the stuff that had already happened, makes the words appear on the page!"  
  
"Well, I guessed and it seems to have worked, that if you read what is there and look closely at the illustrations you can make a very good guestimate as to what is going to happen." Replied Bunny hotly.  
  
"Oh, ok then." Murmured Logan, slightly taken aback.  
  
"I should think so"   
  
Yes indeed I should think so, jeez you are a doubting Thomas aren't you Logan. To think that I would just type stuff down that is contradictory and not explain the reason in some way or the other. I am shocked and quite frankly disappointed in you!  
  
Logan did not hang his head in shame, LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE! No, indeed he placed his hands quite firmly on his hips. He had heard Chuck say that very line to him too many times to listen to it. And he wasn't going to accept it from me either, aprently. Well I think that is what he said, once I sifted all the other words out from all the expledatives.   
  
Bunny observed this all with a smile and the two Aussie expats rolled about on the ground, the argument between the Director and the Lead was to put it simply, 'bloody funny mate'.  
  
Logan snarled, "That's it bub!" pointed an admonishing finger at me and stormed off.  
  
The writer of this Fanfic wishes to applogise for the interruption, the Fanfic will recommence shortly. 


	9. Emotionally Unstable

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!   
  
Ok now every thing has been sorted out. Just a little bit of creative differences between me and my ol' buddy Logan. No it seems that he did not appreciate the um… I will use my word for it I think… happenings that happened to him. We had a bit of a talk and we agreed that he would do what I told him and I wouldn't set Bunny on him. So on with the show…  
  
"Well all knowin' one, what does the book say?" Said Logan with his arms crossed.  
  
The rabbit looked at him for a moment but decided to let his insubordination slide.   
  
The book sat open on Bunny's lap at page 22. It showed all four grouped around the book, one could guess that they were looking at it.   
  
Bunny looked up although the words couldn't be read at the moment the pop-up clearly showed everyone around the book. But St John and Snowy were standing together a little way away talking together. The rabbit smiled to herself.   
  
"…an so the blonde walks intwo a bar an'-"  
  
"Oh Johnny!" cooed the white rabbit.   
  
Johnny looked round and did not like what he saw.  
  
"-wha'?" he murmured nervously  
  
"Come here Johnny." Said Bunny genteelly beckoning. (That's the word I was looking for in chapter 5, I really am a big dum-dum sometimes)  
  
Johnny having already had a bad experience with the rabbit and her wiggly index finger, naturally of course, did not want to come.  
  
But after Johnny got a little encouragement, in the form of Logan storming over, grabbing him by the neck and dragging him over to the sitting rabbit. Where Johnny threw himself down (with a little help from Logan) and grovelled forgiveness for whatever crime he may have committed.   
  
Bunny rolled her eyes "You ain't in trouble."  
  
"I'm not boss?" Johnny looked up hopefully.  
  
"No, all I want ya to do is pull this tab." Bunny pointed at the offending tab.  
  
Offending was the right word, Johnny had had enough of the book and its accursed tabs, flaps, strings and wheels, hell even turning a page was trouble. Johnny sprang up into Logan's arms, and cried into his chest.  
  
Logan shocked, released the sobbing Australian and staggered back, who unfortunately had a hold around Logan's neck. Johnny now hung like some strange apron and with a vice-like grip wailed into Logan's ear. Needless to say Logan's almost hysterical efforts to get him off disturbed many.  
  
Bunny and Snowy watched in silence. Snowy shook his head "I really wunder mate, if it was a good idea for me to become an Anemal Sprit Guide sometimes. I should have just been a doctor like me mum tol' me to."   
  
Bunny joined in "Yeah, it always seems that I get teamed up with th' emotionally unstable ones."  
  
"Wait a sec mate." Said Snowy after a moment of thought. "I thought that Johnny was my human."  
  
Bunny looked at Snowy.   
  
"Well he is, but I will let onto a little secret Logan's just as unstable, it just take different things to set him off." Bunny whispered discreetly.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Heck yeah, I seen plenty like him before, an' they're all the same!"  
  
Snowy pondered this vital piece of information. Before them the two humans continued to struggle.  
  
"That's why they give you a partner for the tough cases. So you can switch around. Here why don't ya go up an' try to get Johnny to pull the tab." Instructed Bunny with a nod.  
  
Snowy stared at her.  
  
"Yeah all right!" He smiled.  
  
With a bound he hopped over to the humans and waited paiciently for the weaving form to drag itself past. Then he tugged at a pant leg. Logan looked down and then stopped wandering about, there was a decided panicked light in his eyes.   
  
"Could ya just put my mate down, do ya think?" Asked Snowy.  
  
Logan's face showed no signs of having heard anything, if anything his eyes began to glass over.   
  
Snowy studied this for a moment and then said loudly. "Hey Johnny mate, could ya cut th' bawling for a sec cobbar?"  
  
The high-pitched keening was cut short as Johnny looked round.  
  
Snowy reached into his belt bag and produced Johnny's battered and now trampled lighter, he waved it enticingly. "Come on mate, ya want ya lighter don't ya?"  
  
Johnny gave a little nod released his hold from Logan's neck and went to Snowy and his beloved lighter.  
  
Logan stood for a moment, then keeled straight over. He landed with a thump on his back, took a very deep and desperately needed breath. Johnny's hold was crushing.  
  
Meanwhile Snowy was having a hushed conversation with a shaky Johnny, who during the conversation threw hurried glances over Snowy's shoulder at Bunny. Johnny was soon joined by Snowy who gave the rabbit a meaningful look.  
  
Good on ya Snowy she thought, ya not as stupid as ya look.  
  
So with well-practiced nonchalance she meandered over to the recumbent Logan. It wouldn't do for her record for one of her human charges to die now would it…  
  
And behind her an itchy pair of fingers pulled the tab on the unattended book. 


	10. Who Did It This Time!

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Chapter 10 – Who Did It This Time!  
  
The pulling of that tab made a little sign pop up. It pointed to the right.  
  
Johnny's eyes sparkled. Bonza he thought nothing bad happened, that is a total relief! Well it was until a great huff of hot air went down his ear hole and there was a heavy weight on his shoulder. Johnny felt like a cold hand was squeezing his heart, and he was going to die with wet pants.   
  
"What, is that all!" complained Snowy from his perch on St John's right shoulder  
  
"It appears so." Said Bunny from her seat next to him.   
  
She studied the book for a moment. "John, will you stop gasping like that or I'll give you a box 'round th' ears!" The rabbit rumbled.  
  
Johnny nodded and stopped. Bunny hopped down from Johnny's shoulder and then took the book off him. She looked at it closely. The others leaned in to try and figure out what she saw. Bunny gave them a look. The others leaned back out again and looked everywhere else except where she was looking. There was much whistling. Except for Johnny, who as we all know simply cannot help himself being one of those people who have no voice of self-preservation. No, Johnny decided to peer over Bunny's shoulder and try to figure out what was going on. And Bunny not appreciating Johnny's hovering over her shoulder, did this. She waited. Johnny sensing no danger, leant in a bit closer. And closer. And Closer. And Bunny waited twirling a small object in her paw. Johnny got so close that his nose almost touched Bunny's back and his breathing ruffled the small rabbit's fur.   
  
It was then that she made the exploding cap – explode. The loud bang gave Johnny such a fright that he leapt backwards and clutched his heart.  
  
Everybody chuckled at this, except Johnny who failed to find it funny. This was the fourth time he had been shocked in last ten minutes and he wasn't happy about it.   
  
"It ain't funny mate, you know I can't take it anymore!" Johnny sobbed, and with that spun about on one heel and walke-…  
  
…I should say tripped, over a board on the ground.  
  
Logan and the Animals went over and picked both the board and St John up. Bunny gave Logan the book to hold and Snowy picked up the board. Which was actually a sign. A chewed up, very battered and scorched. The tooth marks were very prominent. It read:   
  
The Land Of The Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies  
  
Enter At Your Own Risk!  
  
"Oh F@*k." said the rabbit simply.  
  
St John completely forgetting that he was going to walk out of the fanfic for good, asked a very stupid question.  
  
"Hah ha, are we going to see ya mates?"  
  
Bunny eyed Johnny. Yes, she decided, he was a complete idiot. She smiled sweetly. "No, Johnny, we are not going to visit these Bunnies. We are going to turn around and walk in the opposite direction. So come."  
  
She took the sign off of Snowy and then took him by the scruff of his neck and began to drag him away. As she passed Logan she kicked him in the leg and the three of them began to move off. Johnny stood and looked after them. "I like fluffy duckies and bunnies, they're bonza 'cos soft and fluffy and nice to cuddle."  
  
Logan and the Animals stopped and turned around. "Ah ha ha no. Ya not gonna like these fluffy Duckies and Bunnies. Not a bit." Said Bunny. She gave Johnny an odd look. "I didn't quite catch that last bit though, what's bonza?"  
  
Johnny looked innocent. "Nah, nothin' mate."   
  
"Ok then." Said Bunny. "Then come along St John we have to get out of here before they see us."  
  
St John looked past the small group in front of him with a worried expression. "What, that way?" he said.  
  
The rabbit nodded. "Yeess." She said slowly.  
  
"All I can say is no-way mate am I going that way." Said St John with a defiant gleam in his eyes.  
  
"Yes you are." Said the rabbit with a hint of malice. She began to move over to Johnny and she almost had him by the throat when Snowy tapped her on the back.  
  
"No mate I get the feelin' that he is right." Said Snowy.  
  
"Why would ya say that?" Growled Bunny.  
  
"I'd say that, that is a pretty good reason boss." Snowy pointed back the way they came.  
  
And yes, it would not be a good idea to go back the way that they came, for on top of one of those savage mountains sat George the Mountain Beast, a loaded shot gun in his lap, a rather too empty whiskey bottle between his feet and no fear of any consequences. George was in fact, a monster on The Edge.  
  
"Humm." Hummed Bunny.  
  
It was a stalemate. Bunny wasn't going to risk wandering back down to the plain they had just galloped across with George holding his gun like that, especially since it looked like a very difficult shot, and the more difficult it would be to hit them, the easier George would be able to do so. Damn The Stormtrooper Effect.  
  
But neither did Bunny wish to wander down the lovely lightly wooded valley and into the Land Of Fluffy Duckies And Bunnies. No that would be worse. Besides George would only wing them anyway…  
  
Bunny's musings had distracted her enough not to notice some very important things. Like a hand turning a page and causing radical events to happen to the characters in the book, which were unfortunately mirrored in the real world…  
  
The bottom dropped out from under them. 


	11. It Burns!

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Chapter 11- It Burns!  
  
  
  
Ok so the bottom didn't really drop but everyone got a little bump when they landed on their bums. But that wasn't the least of their problems, no the long and extremely smooth slide that had appeared was. And it had been cunningly greased with absolutely no handholds, trust me Johnny looked. Nor could Logan get enough leverage to put his claws through it either, yes it was just that cunning and one would have to say a sheer feet in engineering and design. No escaping from this that's for sure folks.  
  
Bunny seemed to know this and make no attempt to escape at all. But that might have more to do with the fact that Logan landed on her head.   
  
Snowy seemed to be enjoying himself, he was John's Animal Sprit Guide. And Animal Sprit Guides tend to be a little like their charges.   
  
The slide that our heroes had now got onto and could not get off took them deep within the hill. Which seemed to go on forever around and round and around… and there where lots of flashes of light and many other things. In other words your typical Evil Slide Of Doom.   
  
It went on for a while. Well that was until, wait for it, there are more surprises, they all dropped trough a hole in the slide and landed in a log flume.   
  
Of doom.  
  
And it was about then that Bunny regained consousness.   
  
"Wha…?" She said blearily.  
  
Johnny whimpered, he all too well remembered some of those bad water rides at Disneyland.   
  
Snowy sprang from his seat, he liked slides. "Crikkey mate, yew missed out on a bonza ride! I love slides, no worries about that!"   
  
He proved it by jumping up and down on his seat. Literally rocking the boat.   
  
Johnny stopped whimpering. No, he started to cry instead.   
  
Bunny gave them both a look that would have put a medusa to shame. "Snowy, you fucking moron, if you don't stop I will drown you. That goes for you too Firecracker."  
  
She rubbed the bump on her head and muttered under her breath, the bouncing and the bawling from the two seats in front of her stopped.  
  
"Where th' hell are we." Rumbled the rabbit after a time.  
  
"I don't know." said Logan. He sniffed the air suspiciously, it smelt sharp. "I can smell acid."  
  
Everybody paused and listened to the liquid bubbling around the fake log they were sitting in.   
  
Then they peered inquisitively over the side. The rabbit wuffled, her whiskers nearly touching the surface. She quickly hid a small smile.  
  
Snowy hung precariously over the side; the smallest slip and he would be done for. Bunny silently shifted her paw until it was just behind the wiggling Tree Kangaroo's behind and then gave it a quick shove.   
  
The Roo hovered for a moment before hitting the liquid with a splash and disappearing under.  
  
Both Humans recoiled quickly, Johnny doing so with such violence he almost capsized the log. He held his hands up to his face a squeeled with terror. He shot a horrified glance at Logan. Who then looked at Bunny with a grim expression.   
  
Bunny was laughing silently, tears coursing down her cheeks. She was clearly enjoying herself, in an extremely disturbing fashion.  
  
It all became even more disturbing when Snowy burst through the surface and gasped. A bloodcurdling shriek rent the air.  
  
"Oh it burns, it burns!" he gurgled.   
  
The rabbit laughed and the humans shuddered.  
  
"My eyes!" The Tree Kangaroo clutched at his face. He thrashed about. He moaned.   
  
Then the small body sank a bit and slowly floated onto it's back, a pair of red rimmed eyes stared sightlessly at the low cavernous ceiling. Bubbles formed around it and hissed.   
  
The rabbit held her sides and laughed.   
  
Johnny cowered and whimpered pathetically, Logan swallowed.  
  
"You're sick." He spat.   
  
"What?" giggled the rabbit.  
  
"I said, you are one of th' sickest bastards that I have had th' pleasure t' cross!" Logan snarled.  
  
Bunny pulled herself up to her full two feet and eight and a half inches, wagged a finger in his face and said… "And don't you forget it!"  
  
Johnny let out a hysterical giggle. He was sure the Late Snowy Tree Roo just twitched.  
  
Logan drew back from that finger and was about to let the rabbit have it when Bunny smirked at him and turned toward the gently bobbing corpse.  
  
"Pink Lemonade?" she asked.  
  
"That would be about right mate." The cadaver rasped.  
  
Snowy blinked painfully. "It went right up my nose and mate that is no fun."  
  
Bunny reclined back in her seat and sniffed.   
  
"Well that'll teach you for scrambling over th' top of me when trying to escape. You pushed me right under Logan and I tell ya he ain't no lightweight. Besides I saw you turn the page."  
  
Snowy sat bolt upright in order to properly defend his case, but the effect was ruined as he sank beneath the surface of the pink lemonade and half drowned himself again.  
  
This time when he came up for air he was careful the grab the side of the log.   
  
"Help me." He said spastically.  
  
So the damp and sticky form of Snowy was dragged in uncerimonsially and dumped in the bottom of the boat.   
  
"Book." Said the rabbit simply.  
  
The Book was duly handed over. The rabbit read with a slight frown while Logan sulked in the back…  
  
Too damn weird, he thought, I want the fuck outta here. In fact how the hell did he get here. Dammit! Listening to Rogue bitch about Kitty and Kurt all morning would have been a whole heck more fun than this! Logan rumbled to himself and felt like dicing a few things up.  
  
…While Johnny and Snowy talked things over in the front.  
  
"See mate, ya mate Snowy is all right! It's all ok mate! No worries!"  
  
Johnny mumbled and hugged himself closer.  
  
"Awww, I know mate, that rabbit is a bit scary, isn't she. Don't yew worry mate, nothing will hurt yew when she's around."  
  
Johnny mumbled again and plucked at his shirt.  
  
"Ah yeah well, when I said nothing, I meant that nothing but her will hit ya."  
  
Johnny's face showed his doubts.  
  
"Look," said Snowy, "if ya a good boy yew can keep ya lighter for a while."  
  
Johnny reached out at his lighter. Snowy held it just out of his reach.   
  
"But only if yew are good mate, otherwise Bunny will take it off ya an' yew'll never see it again."  
  
Johnny made noises of agreement and cradled his precious lighter in his arms. It had missed him so he sang it a lullaby to calm it.  
  
Bunny glanced up at this display of affection between a youth and his lighter.   
  
"Getta girlfriend." She rumbled.  
  
She continued to study the Book closely. Which she held up to a small patch of light at arm's length. Then with a decisive move tugged a tab.   
  
There was a moment of silence and then grinding rumble the log began to move toward a dark tunnel.  
  
Johnny stiffened, his face an embodiment of terror.  
  
"It's Splash Mountain all over again!!" he squeaked. 


	12. Singalongs

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. And those Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies everyone is talking about! Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Chapter 12 – Sing-a-longs  
  
  
  
And John was about right, once the group's log began moving happy cheerful music played in the background with the lyrics sung by cute little children or woodland creatures. And everyone was thoroughly sickened by it within a minute. But it had that horrible sticking in your head quality, which made it all the more maddening.   
  
Bunny clapped her paws over her ears as soon as she discovered what the lyrics were.   
  
She told the others to do the same.  
  
Logan was glad to comply.   
  
Then when everyone was nice and insulated from the noise the trouble really began to start. First the narrow tunnel widened out into a small grotto with smooth banks and then the log belted them in with the kind of seatbelts, which are specially designed to hold people down.   
  
Secondly small fluffy animatronics duckies, bunnies and other assorted woodland creatures popped up from behind plywood cutouts of trees, bushes, shrubs and other objects in the scenery and danced.  
  
The struggling, which had been fierce when the seatbelts first appeared, increased dramatically.   
  
"Bad day, bad day." Muttered Logan as he tried to slash apart his bonds.  
  
The ride continued, the woodland robots telling our heroes to share and wash their hands regularly, oh and how much fun it was to tell the truth and play nicely and fairly with friends. La la la!  
  
"We… Must… Resist!" gasped Bunny. "Ignore… The… Song... Don't…Watch… Have… To… Talk… Like… This!"  
  
"I wanna go home! I'll be good, promise!" cried Logan pitifully.  
  
Snowy sobbed quietly in his seat, while Johnny rocked back and forth. Logan leaned forward and spoke into the rabbit's ear in a near panic.  
  
"What th' f@*k are we gonna do?"   
  
Johnny sat bolt upright and turned right around in his seat, "Bad words Logan!" His finger quivered accusingly at Logan.  
  
Then he sat straight back down and continued his rocking.  
  
Logan turned his attention back to the rabbit. Who looked at him and said… "Ride it out."  
  
"Noooo!" screamed Snowy and Logan in unison.  
  
"Its all we can do!" yelled Bunny. "They'll…" and she choked on the word… "Be waiting for us on the other end, its gonna be hard but we will have t' make a break for it then!"  
  
Logan bit his knuckles in agitation and the tree kangaroo sobbed a little louder and offered prayer to anyone who was listening.  
  
Johnny on the other hand was enjoying himself despite the fact he was surrounded by water in the form of pink lemonade. He sat and rocked himself, singing along with the woodland creatures and stroking his lighter.   
  
The causal observer would notice that more and more round objects with spirals on them began to be featured in the scenery. These objects had a strange tendency to spin. And an even stranger tendency to draw the watchers attention and suck them into song.  
  
It was only until Bunny realised that Snowy was mouthing along to the words that she ordered the small group to close their eyes and sing, preferably something that had nothing to do with what was going on around them, or taking a shower with grandma.  
  
They tired to do something for Johnny, but he was most reluctant in co-operating.   
  
"Damn!" snapped Bunny.  
  
"What?" said Logan hoarsely, he couldn't remember his grandma but he had seen one of Charles' naked before. It had brought back unpleasant memories.  
  
"I've lost him." She told him flatly as she snapped her fingers in his face.  
  
"No!" cried Snowy. "Mate, mate look at moi, look at moi Johnny!" Snowy shook Johnny desperately.  
  
Johnny stared blankly ahead with a faint smile on his face. Slowly he turned his head and fixed Snowy with a distant look.  
  
"Yes mate, I can see yew. Do you want to play ladders and ladders with me, mate?"  
  
Snowy's face registered fear.   
  
"Ladders and ladders?" he said in confusion.  
  
"Yes mate," said Johnny disjointedly, "it isn't nice to slide down snakes even if they are mean."  
  
"O.K." Snowy turned away. He looked at the other two. "We've lost him." He said.  
  
Snowy then climbed back into his seat and sat down.   
  
Bunny looked at him. "Did you just climb out of your seat?" She said.  
  
"I don't know." Replied the roo dazedly.  
  
Bunny blinked, she leaned back toward Logan. "I think the kangaroo has almost lost it too." She whispered.  
  
Logan gulped and nodded. It was all he could do to even shift in his seat, somebody who could just climb out of theirs had a little too much on their minds.  
  
  
  
The rest of this strange journey on the Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies version of ethnic cleansing went along mostly like this:  
  
"La la lalala lalalalala, la la lalala lalalalala!"  
  
"No more please no more!"  
  
"I'll do anything, I know I'll, I'll stop harassing Girl Scouts that what I'll do!"  
  
*Sounds of sobbing*  
  
"…Sharing, fairing, That's what friends do when they're caring…"  
  
Followed by more screaming, crying, yelling, teeth gnashing and general self-loathing.   
  
Logan did a good part of them all. It was a dark, dark time.  
  
Especially with Johnny singing along and asking if they were there yet.  
  
Until there was hope.   
  
Snowy blinked blearily. "Do ahie shee a light at dee endh of this tunnel maate? He slurred.  
  
Bunny lifted her eyes. "Only if you see one." She rasped.  
  
"Yay." Said Logan in a low voice.  
  
"I wouldn't celebrate, I'd say that that light is more of a flamethrower." She growled sullenly.  
  
The others that were still 'sane' if you want to call them that, couldn't help but agree.  
  
They felt even worse when Johnny jumped up and cried "Oh goodie mates! We're here, this is gonna be bonza!" 


	13. The Land Of Fluffy Duckies And Bunnies

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. And those Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies everyone is talking about! Lets not forget the giraffe. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Chapter 13 – The Land of The Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies.  
  
And St John was right. They were there.   
  
There was the last place anyone of those who were still capable of rational thought wanted to be. Especially now that Johnny was so happy to be there.  
  
"Where are we?" asked Logan tentively.  
  
"Well like the title says, the last place in this god forsaken place." Replied Bunny gruffly.  
  
"No, you can't mean…" gasped Snowy.  
  
"Yes, the Land of The Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies. May God have mercy upon our souls." Finished the rabbit with a shudder.  
  
Snowy rang his hands silently.   
  
"no!" he whispered.  
  
There was more silence, well ok not silence because Johnny was bouncing up and down in his seat, singing, talking to his lighter about what fun they would have with their new friends and laughing. Lots and lots of laughing.  
  
It was the rest of them that were silent.  
  
Logan frowned.   
  
"Y' mean that we've come to a place full of ducks and rabbits."  
  
"Yeeesss." Said Bunny slowly. "If you want to be really general, you could call them ducks and rabbits. But the term 'Duckies and Bunnies' is more accurate."  
  
"So, these… duckies an' bunnies…"  
  
"'Duckies AND Bunnies'."  
  
"…OK what you said. They're fluffy right." Said Logan trying to organise everything in his mind.  
  
"Very." Said Bunny firmly.  
  
"Well that makes 'em sound like they're small, like I don' know, babies or some'it."  
  
"Yes they are quiet small and under developed." Said the rabbit cautiously. "Why?"  
  
Logan took a breath. "It sounds like I could take 'em."   
  
And to illustrate his point he unsheathed his claws and waved them in a knowing way.  
  
Bunny gave Logan a long and careful look.   
  
Then she laughed.  
  
And Laughed and laughed and laughed. Johnny decided to join in and laughed too. Snowy started the crack up too but that was more because of fear. Logan began to laugh as well, hell everyone else was.  
  
Bunny stopped laughing. "No. You couldn't." She said simply.  
  
Logan opened his mouth to say something in reply but was cut off when Bunny shushed him.  
  
"Quiet!" She shushed.   
  
So they were silent. Even Johnny but his was a silence of anticipation instead.  
  
The Log slid silently out from the tunnel and into bright saturating sunlight.  
  
Everything around them was bright. Like somebody thought it would be a good idea to basically backlight everything and then paint it with a thin coat of phosphorescent paint. If you stared too long you could go blind.  
  
But apparently that wasn't enough. The architect or designer, who must have been spawned in the part of hell devoted to those who dwelt in dark alleyways only because contact with light of any kind would cause them to turn to dust, also decided to make everything perfect.   
  
The hills were all semi-circular domes of grass; the trees all had big green leaves and various fruit on them. The river of pink lemonade entered a pool with a spring at the bottom. There it turned into clear, brilliant blue water, which twisted off into the distance. A rainbow came off it and faded into the air above the pool.  
  
The log bumped gently against the edge of the pool and the straps holding them into their seats unlocked themselves and slipped back into hiding.  
  
Our heroes all climbed out. Johnny promptly ran in circles and skipped.   
  
The rest stood in a little group, Bunny seemed deep in thought.  
  
Then Johnny found a path that wound along between trees and shrubs beside the river. He ran off along it and disappeared.  
  
"There he goes." Said Snowy, as he watched St John.  
  
"What!" Yelped the rabbit. "We have to get him!"  
  
"What th' hell for!" Snarled Logan, who had been developing a headache from the pyromaniac's singing.   
  
"Because, we can't leave him behind! That's why!" Shouted Bunny following St John.  
  
Snowy gave Logan a black look. "We don't leave mates behind, mate."   
  
And he hopped off after Bunny.  
  
Logan stood for a while, completely alone. Well there was nobody he could see. But he felt as though he was being seed at. It was very disconcerting. He sniffed the air but could smell nothing except the bananas growing on the tree beside him.   
  
He stood for a moment. He wasn't scared; nothing much at all scared him. But he was worried about… about… Snowy! That's right Snowy, and Bunny too! Yes they might need somebody to… to… hold that little f@*kwit down or something. Yes, they needed him.  
  
And with that ran off after them.  
  
In the end he needn't had 'worried' so much after a couple of turns down the path he came across them. Johnny was animatedly talking to his lighter and was pointing to a strange knobbly tree trunk. Bunny and Snowy were gently trying to persuade Johnny to turn around and move back up the path.  
  
But Johnny was his usually co-operative self and wouldn't.  
  
Lucky Logan was indeed needed. He picked up the Australian by the scruff of the neck and at Bunny's command proceeded to march him back up the path. That was until the path ran out.  
  
"Damn!" Snapped Bunny at the wall of vegetation that covered the now nonexistent path. "They know that we are here."  
  
"Wait boss, they didn't before!" wailed Snowy.  
  
"Well I wasn't sure. But now I am." Said the rabbit.  
  
"Damn straight they do." Said a voice above them.  
  
Our Heroes all jumped and looked around them. Logan unsheathed his claws and growled. He looked around him through all the knobbly and rather spotty tree trunks.  
  
"Yeah, I'd look like that too if I was you." Said the voice.  
  
Logan whirled around looking for the source of the voice. Bunny looked about suspiciously. "Why?" She said.  
  
"Because they're coming this way. I can see them." The voice nodded.  
  
Logan snarled while Snowy cowered in terror next to a babbling St John. Bunny looked up into the canopy and made an 'ummm' noise.   
  
Finally she said "Its all right Logan it's just a giraffe."  
  
Logan straightened up from his battle ready crouch. "What do ya mean 'just a giraffe'?"  
  
"Yeah! Whatdoya just a giraffe!" grumbled the voice in Logan's ear.   
  
Logan sprang to the side and held up his claws menacingly. The giraffe held his head level with Logan's.   
  
"What's up his butt?" it asked Bunny.  
  
Bunny merely shrugged.  
  
The giraffe made a face. "About this giraffe stuff." It said huffily.  
  
"Sorry about that, I didn't mean it in a bad way." Apologised the rabbit. "Now about the…"  
  
"Well you should be sorry, I can kick the eyes out of a lion you know." The giraffe said in a lordly way.  
  
"That's nice, now about the…" repeated Bunny.  
  
"People tend to be disrespectful of us giraffes," he said, "they don't seem to see that we are dangerous killers that hunger for the blood of innocents as well as graceful doe-eyed browsers."   
  
"Right…" said Bunny slowly.  
  
Our heroes gathered up in a group.  
  
"Sometimes we giraffes like to gather up into packs and go hunting. We tend to trample the prey we find into the ground. Then we drink its blood." The giraffe nodded to himself. "Boy," he said suddenly, "you know its been ages since I've done that."  
  
"Done, what mate?" Asked Snowy with a shake in his voice.  
  
"Gone trampling." Said the giraffe. "Which reminds me of another thing, it's been ages since I've had a chat to somebody other than another giraffe." He looked at them curiously.   
  
"You know…" he began.  
  
"What?" said Logan who still hadn't put away his claws.  
  
"The last time I talked to another species was just before me and some of my friend went and trampled it."  
  
Logan blinked.  
  
Bunny rubbed her chin. "You know how ya said before that they're coming this way."  
  
"Yes." said the giraffe.  
  
"Well how far away were they?"  
  
The giraffe thought for a second. "Let me look." It pushed its head up into the branches.  
  
"Well!" it shouted. "They're almost here!"  
  
"Great" rumbled the rabbit.  
  
The giraffe brought its head back down. "I'd better be going then." He gave them a pitying look. "Good Luck." He finished.  
  
Then the giraffe turned and loped off into the bushes.  
  
Logan blinked again.  
  
"That was weird." He said.  
  
"I know," replied Bunny, "who woulda thought a talking giraffe. A singing one I could believe but a talking one?"   
  
"He mustn't have a very good singing voice mate." Said Snowy knowingly. 


	14. Close Encounters of the Fluffy Kind

Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. And those Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies everyone is talking about! Lets not forget the giraffe. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!  
  
Chapter 14 – Close Encounters of the Fluffy Kind  
  
It was silent for a short while. That was until the screams. Our 'sane' heroes jumped and were quite upset until Bunny realised that it was just St John pretending to do karate.  
  
"Whaaaaaaaaaha!" he went and made choppy motions with his arm. Then he kicked randomly.   
  
Logan growled and rolled up a sleeve and began to move towards Johnny with bad intentions.   
  
Bunny stopped him. "No, bud. That wouldn't be a particularly good idea. Not with them so close."   
  
"Well I'll just make it quick then."  
  
Bunny shook her head. "I don't think so, they can sense that sorta thing. And you don't want to know what they do to people who hurt one of them."  
  
Logan was surprised. "What you mean that that little f@*kwit is one of 'em now?!"  
  
"Yep. They have a sort of psychic bond with him now. Well its what happens when you let them get into your head." She shrugged.  
  
"So you were tellin' us to block our ears for a good reason then."  
  
"Yes, not just 'cause it was annoying."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Look bub, just 'cause I'm a talking rabbit an' you are in a f@*ken weird place, an' everything is nuts, doesn't mean you can't trust me." Bunny patted Logan reassuringly on the knee. "See I wouldn't grievously hurt or recklessly endanger anyone. Hey don't give me that look! Ok so I might scare or rough someone up a bit, but never badly hurt them. Ok well just enough to stop them or at least slow 'em down a bit. Nothing a few years of rehabilitation and plastic surgery couldn't fix. I wouldn't kill them, lets just leave it at that shall we?" She concluded.  
  
Logan sighed. "I take back that stuff about you being a sick bastard."  
  
"That's all right, hey I'm your Animal Spirit Guide, and we have to be kinda alike in order for me to relate to you. Besides I've done a few things in my past too."  
  
"Monty Pythons Holy Grail." Logan chuckled.  
  
The rabbit looked up at him. "Funny you should say that…"  
  
But Bunny didn't finish. No, Johnny interrupted with a squeal and was silent and Snowy shot over to Bunny and Logan with a single bound. He huddled close to them and shivered. And it seemed he had a good reason too. In the near distance there was a faint quacking.   
  
"Umm… You're the expert mate. Ahh… what's that about?" asked Snowy very nervously.  
  
"It's a diversionary tactic. Basically it's called 'Shock and Awe'." Grunted the Rabbit.  
  
And with those words the quacking faded away into the distance. It became far too quiet.  
  
"Um…" piped up Snowy squeakily. "Shouldn't we take a look at the book boss? Now?"   
  
Bunny slowly shook her head. "I don't need to. I already know what's gonna happen."  
  
"Ha ha… ha, well it's all very well that yew know mate. But what about the rest of us."  
  
"Just try not to end up like him." She replied and motioned to the very expectant Johnny.  
  
He stood and cocked his head from side to side like a dog does when it's listening to its master's voice.  
  
Logan who had been silent for sometime and straining to hear anything that sounded like the supposedly evil ducks and rabbits opened his mouth and uttered those infamous words. And before anyone could stop him either.  
  
"It's quiet, too quiet."  
  
The tree kangaroo nearly fainted, Johnny let out a delighted squeal and the rabbit banged her head against his kneecap and cursed Logan soundly.  
  
"What, did I say something?" he asked confused.   
  
Logan then continued with other words that are too harsh to be allowed into this fanfics PG-13 rating. Mostly this was caused by the many ducks that swooped past his head.  
  
And some of it was directed at what hit him and everyone else when they flew past. Some went into his mouth.  
  
The 'sane' ones ducked for cover.  
  
"What is with th' f@*ken marshmallows?!" He cried.  
  
"Well would you rather it was poo?" Growled the rabbit.  
  
"Poo?"   
  
"What?"  
  
"You said poo."  
  
"I did?'  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Damn it! It's happening!"  
  
"What?" said Logan worriedly.  
  
"Nothing. Forget that I said anything." Replied the rabbit a little too quickly.  
  
Logan narrowed his eyes, he was now highly suspicious.  
  
He would have questioned her further but more bad things happened involving ducks. Like more marshmallows, and innocent everyday objects like logs or rocks suddenly sprouting more ducks with more marshmallows. And then there was the quacking.   
  
Logan swatted a few that had tried to collide with his head, their large fluffy down covered bodies meant that all blows were absorbed and landing were particularly soft. Much like toilet tissue. Seeing that he had failed to dispatch them he decided to use his claws but Bunny grabbed his arm and shouted a warning to him over the cacophony.  
  
"No, don't kill 'em that's the last thing you should do!"  
  
Logan gave her a startled look and then quietly sheathed his claws. The rabbit looked really very serious about it.  
  
And so the assault continued, Logan using fists instead of claws, Bunny delivering vicious kicks and head butts, Snowy doing the kangaroos back home proud by doing the old grabbing them by the throat, biting and giving his opponent several disembowelling kicks to the stomach. None of them were doing much more than winding any of the ducks. Johnny did nothing except show his appreciation for the, well show in front of him by laughing manically and eating marshmallows.  
  
Then as quickly as they appeared, the ducks melted silently back into the bushes.   
  
Our heroes (save Johnny) all stood in the circle that they had formed during all the fighting.  
  
"I feel disorientated and confused, mate." Whimpered Snowy.  
  
"That's what they want you to feel, the bastards!" Snapped Bunny.  
  
Logan grunted, some of those ducks had hurt. Both emotionally and physically. The worst kind.  
  
And Johnny just laughed and ate more marshmallows.  
  
Logan gave him a disgusted look.  
  
"He he he! Have'n' fun are yew?!" He cackled.  
  
"Strangely enough, yes." Logan replied with a smile.  
  
John curious, had to know why. "Why's that mate?"  
  
"Ya do know where those marshmallows came from don' ya?" Logan asked sweetly.  
  
Johnny gave Logan a long look and then spat them out.   
  
"Yum." He muttered quietly.  
  
But Johnny was not down for long. No indeed at that very moment a bunch of small black figures a lot like Bunny leaped out of the bushes.  
  
"Hoooooooorrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaah!"   
  
"Eeeeeeeeyyyyyyahhh!"  
  
"Whaaaachaaa!"  
  
The masked figures landed in a semi-circle and made a series of complicated motions with their limbs, which were called names like Dragon Rears Mighty Head and Laughing Dog Leaves Scene of 'Crime'.   
  
Yes that is right my dear readers!   
  
They were Ninjas!  
  
And they were rabbits!   
  
Very fluffy, fuzzy bunnies, but they were Ninjas!  
  
Which makes them infinitely worse than normal fluffy and fuzzy bunny rabbits! 


End file.
